oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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