i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
