so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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