Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
