I never want to see another naked old woman again.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Sext me about skeletons
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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