So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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