I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
