new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
