Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize