An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize