I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
