No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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