I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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