There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
