I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
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his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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