Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
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We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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