My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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