I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
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It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize