No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
