All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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