BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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