i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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