I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
