They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
