we're chasing vodka with high fives
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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