apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize
