I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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