i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
