nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize