I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
