Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
