p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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