Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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