Porn is love you can see.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize