Christians are straight up FREAKS
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
This baby is an asshole
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
