It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
