so that wasnt chicken after all
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
