i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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