the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
