dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
