My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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