i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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