Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
50% drunk capacity currently
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
