I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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