Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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