well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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