There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
