I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We need to get me chipped asap
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
