And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
