So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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