Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I will pee on everything he values.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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