I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
