Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
