nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
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I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
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That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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