i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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