i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
