so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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