I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
