Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
