This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
