mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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